Friday, February 11, 2005

Mediation emersion (updated on 2/12)

Yesterday was a blast from the past for me. Four hours straight on my feet teaching 15 adults about mediation. There is so much conflict in life that people...especially in the social service areas...are looking for strategies to deal with it. So I oblige, through the Center for Dispute Resolution, by offering classes on personal and leadership mediation. It was fun and I think the folks got their money's worth (wasn't much). Today I have a Friend of the Court mediation at the center. This is an Asian couple (translated means potential language issues) who have been spit for several years still trying to work out child custody issues. That will probably take a couple of hours to work though.

I enjoy mediation because the techniques that I have learned over the years work. People do respond and most of the time end up making deals that permits them to determine outcomes for themselves. But this is work. Being in a mediation is tense and tiring so I guess that is why we call it work.

So two days in a row of teaching/mediating make me feel emersed in the stuff. Just remember this: Face to face discussion, about the problem, without interruption, long enough to get a solution; that's what it is all about.

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The update is that the couple did not reach agreement, but did agree to meet again on Monday. These are wrenching discussions...and the underlying saga of two families torn apart first by war and being split as they enter the western hemisphere...then torn apart by pride, lust, self-centeredness. And who pays? THE CHILDREN.

We made progress and both believe they can make a deal...I am not sure. It is in everyone's best interest to make a deal, but wow, the animosity and vendictiveness is huge. Wish us luck.

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